true friendship is still being friends despite being in different hogwarts houses
cry cry cry dont want to go to work
If you ever think I’m a good role model, just know this: I took a poison ivy plant and rubbed it all over this girl’s car that I hated in high school. Horrifically that same day, she was carpooling 3 other girls that I didn’t like to the mall. The next day they came in covered in rashes and had to give the pe teacher a note because it had spread in unsavory places.
And so did 3 of the football players.
You are the best role model what are you talking about
my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”
IF COWS CAN RUN AROUND WITH THEIR TITS OUT SO CAN I
“you’re only 18, you’ll regret that tattoo when you’re older” my mom says as she hands me college applications so i can decide on the career i’ll have for the rest of my life
‘THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MARKET’ OH GOD IT’S NOT TO BUY FOOD, HE WENT AS FOOD. THE LITTLE PIGGY WENT AS FOOD.
can we just take a moment and think about the time my dad accidentally made a fried egg that looked exactly like africa
i’m the most impressed by the fact the egg also has madagascar
in math i use this thing called the guess and hope method
never trust anyone who can bite an ice cream without flinching that shit’s not natural